That the dream prevails

That the dream pre­vails, that’s all I can say with my days get­ting short­er, my mem­o­ry get­ting longer, and my cer­tain­ties evap­o­rat­ing while mak­ing cir­cles in the water of I don’t know what.

My igno­rance gives me wings. It allows me to run far with­out los­ing my breath. It gives me the free­dom to impose some desires on my real­i­ty, to think from left to right, from bot­tom to top, to fol­low the stars of my birth chart while lis­ten­ing to the log­ic of the great schol­ars who speak high­er than I do.

There is an amus­ing tech­nique in astrol­o­gy that con­sists in fol­low­ing the lines of one’s astral chart on the globe. There, on the line of Venus, one can find love ; else­where, fol­low­ing the bor­der drawn by Jupiter, one could blos­som. At the cross­roads of spe­cif­ic hori­zons, we could see the answers to our lives.

This is how my igno­rance, my amuse­ment, my mad­ness lead me to Ban­da, in India, where Plu­to and Jupiter inter­sect. It seems that I would find growth, hap­pi­ness, peace there. Should I leave every­thing to go and meet my truth ?

Let the dream pre­vail, and my wings go there at once. I imag­ine that I no longer work ; my soul sits on the ram­parts of Fort Kalin­jar, on the side of the moun­tain, doing noth­ing, know­ing noth­ing, being only me, noth­ing, and every­thing at the same time.

They say that para­dox is the solu­tion to all suf­fer­ing. I don’t know, and I am too tired to go any fur­ther than my bed. Per­haps there is an India in my dreams ; per­haps I am here and there since every­thing up there is like every­thing down there. What is in the West is prob­a­bly the oppo­site of what is hap­pen­ing in the East.

Where can I drink the elixir of knowl­edge ? From the water of my silences or through the abyss of your eyes ?